soccer
For the record I am not a soccer player. Unless you count the teams I was on until I was about 12 where we all chased the ball to one side of the field, all chased it back to the other side of the field and sometimes, sometimes by chance, someone happened to score. My highlight of those games was the oranges at half time. I was tormented by my inability to be great at the game. Although, I guess I did try again when I was older. My mom remarried an ex-soccer star (or so I like to call him) and he got me into indoor soccer. I think I liked the ‘idea’ of soccer. I liked picking out new Umbros and wearing Sambas, buying the coolest cleats and slipping into a sporty sports bra (did I even need one?). I wanted to be good, but I really sucked. He tried to help me but I was a quitter. I hated being bad at something and instead of overcoming it I gave up.
When I met Ryan I never thought it would matter that I didn’t play. He didn’t really play anymore, so I didn’t have to be ok at it. A year ago when I heard that my agency was starting a co-ed team I thought it would be a great thing for RYAN to do, but he didn’t just want to join my agency team without me, seemed like I had to be there for the connection. So I joined. I’ll never tell Ryan how nervous I was that first game. I felt sick. I didn’t want to go. I wanted to give up already. That first game we got crushed. Literally, we were lucky if we made one pass successfully. Goal after goal from the other team made us all frustrated and down in the dumps. But we rallied through the seasons.. I got over any fear and when I’m on that field I want to CRUSH people. All I can think about is keeping that ball out of our team’s goal. It’s awesome. It’s a great way to feel and it’s a nice change from the daily gym routine.
Ryan is… well.. he is SO good. I love watching his feet as he travels down the field. It’s like a well-written choreography. I think I’m learning from him and from playing and I know I’m getting better. I actually have been leaving the games feeling ‘good’, besides the fact I’m soaked in sweat, beat up and bruised. I may never be a ‘soccer player’, but I can keep playing soccer right?
